


Nosy Neighbors

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Adorable Rob, Alternate Universe, Cuddling, Domestic!AU, Drinking, Little bit of angst, M/M, Multi, Nosy Neighbors, Suburban AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6128896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rob, Rich and Matt were asked to play FMK (Fuck, Marry, Kill) with each other during HousCon 2016 - and here were the results: </p><p>Rob and Rich said they’d marry each other and fuck Matt, and of course, as Rich is waxing on about fucking Matt, Rob steps in front of him and yells “EXCUSE ME I AM YOUR HUSBAND!!”) </p><p>Patty’s Prompt: Now I need fanfic about R2 husbands who both want to fuck Matt</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nosy Neighbors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/gifts).



> You can find Archangelsanonymous (IE Patty), the wonderful person that suggested this very yummy prompt, here: [Archangelsanonymous](http://archangelsanonymous.tumblr.com/)

 

Rob opened the front door and walked over to where Rich was sitting on the porch swing, sipping lemonade.  “How was work?” 

Rich snorted and looked up at Rob with a smile.  “The same shit, different day.  My boss is a dumbass, but likes me for some reason.  Fucking Uriel, asshat that he is, tried to throw me under the bus for that project he took over, remember the one I told you about?”  

“Yeah,” Rob said, settling in next to Rich.  He hummed and rested his head on Richard’s shoulder.  “Makes my day look easy by comparison.”  

“Oh, I’m sure you had your own asshats to deal with.  Anything you wanna share?” 

Rob chuckled.  “So, a client called to tell me he didn’t like the shade of green I did for the website.  I changed it, and he wanted it darker.  I switched it back to the first shade?  It was perfect.”  

Richard snickered and shifted to kiss the top of Rob’s head.  “Sounds about right.”  

The sound of a door slamming across the street had them both sitting up.  They watched Molly stomp towards her car, and then Matt come running out a moment later.  

“Ohhh, that doesn’t look good,” Rob whispered.  

“Nope,” Richard agreed.  

They watched as Matt tapped on her drivers side window, but she ignored him and gunned it out of the driveway, her tires squealing as she headed out of the neighborhood.  Matt slumped and sighed, his shoulders hanging as he headed back inside.  

Rob looked over at Rich.  “Booze?”  

Rich nodded and pushed himself off of the swing and headed inside.  “You head over there, I’ll grab the good stuff.”  

“You got it,” Rob said, heading across the street for Matt’s house.  He knocked on the door and smiled when Rob opened the door, his eyes rimmed red.  

“Hey Rob, I’m not really up for-”

“Rich is bringing booze, we’re going to order pizza and you’re going to forget all about what happened earlier,” Rob said, pushing past Matt and into his apartment.  “Come on, where do you keep your whiskey glasses, Rich is bringing the good stuff.” 

Matt blinked and watched Rob head towards his kitchen.  He snorted.  “You two are the nosiest fucking neighbors.”  

“Well,” Rob said, pulling down three glasses.  “Since we are fucking.  And, yanno, married, and also your neighbors, that would be very accurate.”  

Matt laughed and shook his head.  “You said Rich is coming?” 

“Yes, though not in the literal sense, unless, of course, you’re interested,” Rich said, walking through the front door and shutting it behind him.  He held up two bottles.  “Whiskey and Bourbon, so pick your poison Cohen!”  

Rob grabbed the ice tray out of the freezer.  “I’m taking bourbon.”  

Rich winked at Matt.  “He’s the reason I brought the bourbon.  You’re more of a whiskey guy though, right?”  

“Yes,” Matt said, a little blindsided by the both of them just waltzing into his house to pour him booze.  “Why are you both here again?” 

“Because,” Rob said, pouring them drinks.  “I think you either just had an epic fight with your girlfriend, or you got dumped.  Either option demands alcohol.” 

Matt sighed and walked into the living room.  “Dumped is right.  For a fucking stupid reason.  Should have known it’d happen.  I should just give up on dating.”  

“Or date men,” Rich suggested, walking back out, two drinks in hand.  He offered one to Matt.  “They’re far better.  And easier.  And hey, dicks are fun to play with.”  

Rob snorted and glared at Rich as he flopped down on the couch beside Matt.  “So was it a fight or…?”  

Matt downed the drink.  “A dumping.  We weren’t working out and she wasn’t interested.” 

“Well, she’s fucking stupid.  You’re hot stuff, Matthew.  I know it, I’ve seen you mow the lawn shirtless!” Richard said, sipping his bourbon.  “Also slow down, that’s the good shit.  Savor it.  You wanna get wasted, I’ll grab tequila.”  

Rob rolled his eyes and got up to go to the kitchen and brought the bottle back with him.  He poured Matt another glass and smiled.  “Do I need to go get the tequila?” 

“Maybe in a bit,” Matt said, taking a slow sip this time.  

Several glasses later, and one trip back to their place to grab the bottle of tequila, they’d all ended up flopped on top of each other on the couch.  

“Matt, tell me honestly why you keep dating these douchebag ladies.  Are you bad in bed or something?” Rich said, sipping more of his bourbon. 

Matt snorted and rolled his eyes.  “None of them have ever walked away with complaints.  None of the girls _or_ guys.  Trust me on that point.”  

Rob lifted his head and looked at Matt, staring at him.  “You’ve dated dudes?”  

“Yup,” Matt said, his lips popping around the ‘p’.  “In college, mostly.  Not a lot of them wanted commitment, so I went back to ladies, since they tend to look for permeance.”  

“Psh,” Richard drawled.  “You just weren’t dating the right dudes.  Like if you dated us, we’d treat you right, Matthew.”  

Matthew snickered and leaned his head back against the couch.  “Like you two would ever wanna date me.”  

Rob reached over and poked Matt in the face.  “We do, you ignore our flirting and hitting on you.”  

Matt opened his eyes again and stared at Rob.  “You were serious?  But you’re married?”  

Rob shrugged.  “We’re married, we love each other very much, and we’re polyamorous, which means we both believe that you can fall in love with more than one person.  We’ve dated other people as a couple, but no one has ever wanted to stay.”  

Matt blinked slowly.  “And, and you wanna date me?  Why?”  

Rob hummed and turned to nuzzle Matt’s neck, the bourbon and tequila reminding him that this was likely either an awesome or terrible decision.  There was no in between.  “Because you’re gorgeous, because-”

“You make us laugh,” Rich added, shifting closer to Matt.  “And smile, and yes, because you are fucking gorgeous.  You’re funny, brilliant and hot, what isn’t there to want?”  

Matt shivered at the drag of Rob’s beard on his neck and tilted his head back.  “So, uh, to be clear, do you want to jump me, or…?”  

“Well, how about you show us how good in bed you are and we’ll decide that,” Rich teased, dropping his hand to Matt’s waist, giving him a squeeze.  “But if you wanna know, we want both.  Then I have a reason to jump you when you’re mowing the damn lawn shirtless.”  

Rob snickered and hit Rich upside the head.  “Don’t have him make these types of decisions while drunk, that’s not nice.”  

Matt hummed and maybe moved a little bit closer in the possessive hold that Rich had on his waist. 

Rich pouted at Rob and then looked at Matt.  “What if we made you the offer sober?”  

Matt shrugged and yawned, leaning in against Richard.  He settled his head against his shoulder.  “No idea.  Ask me when we wake up.”  

“Are we all passing out here?” Rob asked, frowning at his feet.  He was still wearing his shoes, why was he still wearing his shoes?  

Richard yawned.  “I’m comfy, and Matthew has decided I’m a pillow, so I’m not moving.”  

“You are a comfy pillow,” Matt mumbled, yawning against Richard again.  “Just thought I’d point that out.”  

Rob snorted and leaned against Matt’s other side.  “Both of you go the hell to sleep.” 

~!~

When Matt woke up, he was warm, and cramped.  But he was comfier than he could remember being in a long time.  He shifted and buried his face in his pillow, and it grunted underneath him.  He froze and stared at the plaid shirt underneath him, his head pounding.  Had, had last night really happened?  

A weight on the other side of him moved and nuzzled into his chest a little bit more.  

“Go back to sleep, don’t wanna wake up yet,” His pillow, Rich, Rich was his pillow, mumbled under him.  

Matt pulled up and away from Rich, jostling Rob, who was sprawled half on top of him, into wakefulness as well.  “Come on.  We’re moving to my bed,” he grumbled, standing up and holding out his hands for the other two.  

It took a little bit of convincing to get Rich up and off the couch, but Matt stumbled with them to his bedroom and they flopped onto his bed, kicking off shoes and climbing under the covers.  A moment later, Richard and Rob were curled up on either side of him.  

They fell back asleep together, and the next time Matt woke up, one side of him was cold, and he realized that he’d wrapped himself completely around Rich.  He yanked himself back and groaned, dropping his face into his hands.  They were never going to forgive him for this.  

Rich huffed and stretched a little.  “Any reason in particular you decided to flail to the other side of the bed, there Matt?”  

“I was hanging all over you, fuck, I’m sorry,” Matt said running his fingers through his hair and tugging on it in frustration.   _Fuck_ , he should have never let the both of them spend the night.  

Rich rolled over and stared, scratching at his belly as he stared at Matt.  “What the fuck makes you think I care?  I was warm and comfy.  Why the hell did you move?”  

Matt blinked and stared at Richard and he did his best to ignore how good Rich looked all sleep-rumpled like that.  “Uh.  Where’s Rob?”

“Bringing you water and tylenol,” Rob said, walking into the bedroom, holding out two glasses to them both, before offering the pill bottle.  “And then I am climbing back in bed.”  

Matt took the water and pills on reflex, downing them a moment later, before staring at Rob.  “Want to, uh, try that one more time?”  

“Move over,” Rob ordered, lifting the covers and sliding in with a yawn.  He pushed Matt until he moved and curled up behind him, humming happily.  “We’re comfy, but none of us need to have longer headaches.”  

Rich yawned and immediately snuggled into Matt’s chest, reaching out to grab Rob’s arm and tug it around Matt’s waist.  “Matt is having an existential crisis.  Or a ‘Do they really want me’ crisis haven’t figured out which.”  

Rob yawned and pressed a kiss to Matt’s shoulder.  “If it’s the first one, Rich is better at philosophy.  I get too existential.  If it’s the second, we’ll talk about it when we all wake up again,” he said, pulling the covers over all of them, snuggling into Matt’s back again.  

Matt closed his eyes and tightened his arm around Richard, pulling him in a little bit closer.  Even if this was a dream that he was going to wake up from shortly, he was going to love this for as long as it lasted.  

~!~

When he woke up again, both Richard and Rob were gone and his bed felt emptier than it ever had.  Matt pressed his face into a pillow and stifled an angry cry into the soft pillowcase.  Of course it had all been a dream, or just an illusion of his imagination.  

“You awake?” Rich called.  

Matt lifted his head up in shock and stared at Richard, leaning in the doorway of his bedroom.  “You’re here?”  

“Yeah,” Rich said, smiling a little.  “We took turns running home to brush our teeth.  We’re mean, but we weren’t about to use your toothbrush without permission.”  He gestured for Matt to get out of bed.  “Come on, Rob’s made coffee.”  

Matt shuffled out of bed and immediately headed for the bathroom, brushing his teeth.  He tried to comb his hair and then gave up when it looked like nothing was going to tame it.  He exhaled hard and headed for the kitchen where he could hear Rich and Rob talking quietly.  

He made a beeline for the coffee machine and poured himself a cup before they started talking.  A moment later, with the coffee almost burning his tongue, Matt steeled himself and turned to face them.  “So.”  

“So,” Richard echoed, smiling at him.  “On a scale of one to ten, how freaked out are you?”  

“Uh,” Matt paused and glanced over at Rob.  “Let’s call it a solid seven.” 

“Right,” Rob said, sipping his own coffee.  “Because you don’t want us, and now you’re freaked out that your neighbors want you?”  

Matt blinked and took another sip of coffee.  “No, that’s not why I’m freaked out.  Well, I mean, sorta.  But not really.”  

“Okay,” Richard said.  “Want to tell us what sorta not really means?” 

Matt traced his thumb over the edge of the coffee pot.  “Why the hell do you want me?”  

Rich blew out a breath and looked at Rob.  “This is gonna be up your alley more than mine.”  

Rob rolled his eyes and smiled at Matt.  “Let me ask you a question, instead, Matt.  What reasons do we have to _not_  like you?”  

Matt blinked and stared at Rob for several long moments.  “I uh, well, you guys are in a happily committed relationship and-”

“And we want to date you,” Rob interjected, still smiling at Matt.  “So I’ll ask you again.  What reasons do we have not to like you?”  

Matt bit down on his lip.  “You have each other.  You don’t _need_ me-”

“Needing and wanting are two different things.  We want you, Matt.  We want, and need, your laughter, and your smiles in our lives.  And so far, you haven’t done a great job of convincing me why I shouldn’t like you,” Rob said, crossing his arms over his chest, smirking a little.  

Matt looked over at Richard.  “Help me out here, Rich!”  

Richard laughed and shook his head.  “Who do you think he’s practiced this on?  I fall victim to this every single time!”  

Rob winked at Richard and turned his attention back to Matt.  “So, Matt, if you can’t give me a reason why we shouldn’t want you, well, there’s only one question left to answer.”  

Matt swallowed hard and stared back at Rob.  “What question?”  

Rob grinned, bright and wide.  “Do you want us?”  

That was the most ridiculous question.  Matt wanted them so badly, he could barely breathe around it.  Especially now that he’d had them, had slept, curled up in their arms.  It would have been so easy to lean in and nuzzle Richard’s neck, kiss along the line of his beard…

Rich raised an eyebrow.  “Matthew?”  

“Yeah,” Matt croaked, raising his eyes back up to Rob’s before darting over to look at Richard.  “Yeah, I do.”  

Rob pushed him away from the counter and leaned into Matt’s space, taking the coffee mug away from him.  “Well, I am glad to hear that, Matt.  May I kiss you?”  

Matt groaned.  “Is he always this gentlemanly?”  

“Yup,” Rich said, grinning.  “You’ll end up blushing.  Often.”  

“Matt?” Rob asked softly.  

Matt turned back to stare at Rob and fuck, why had he never looked at Rob’s eyes this close before?  They were even more beautiful like this.  

“For fuck’s sake, just kiss him already Cohen!” Richard called.  

Matt laughed and wrapped an arm around Rob’s waist tugging him in close, reaching out to yank Richard in closer with his free hand.  “With pleasure.  You’re next, Rich.”  

“Oh, _goody_.”  

Rob’s beard scratched a little, but he was grinning, and Matt couldn’t help grinning into the kiss just as much.  Well, maybe it was about time he tried dating some men.  Or maybe just two men in particular.  

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: 
> 
> [Aria-Lerendeair ](http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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